1
00:00:04,430 --> 00:00:06,724
Douglas,
just the man I wanted to see.

2
00:00:06,891 --> 00:00:09,101
Give my résumé a once-over,
will you?

3
00:00:09,268 --> 00:00:11,812
Your résumé? What's that about?
You wanna go back to work?

4
00:00:11,979 --> 00:00:14,982
Yeah, I just can't take it anymore,
Douglas,

5
00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:17,693
sitting alone
in that basement all day.

6
00:00:17,860 --> 00:00:19,452
I'll be honest with you,

7
00:00:19,580 --> 00:00:22,934
I'm starting to have some very
strange thoughts.

8
00:00:23,115 --> 00:00:24,283
Really?

9
00:00:24,450 --> 00:00:26,994
Hadn't picked up on that.

10
00:00:27,203 --> 00:00:30,998
So this gonna land me a job
or what?

11
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:34,919
Well, my first thought is you might
not wanna do it in Magic Marker.

12
00:00:38,756 --> 00:00:41,425
And which Little
Rascal were you?

13
00:00:41,634 --> 00:00:46,973
Onions. Beloved by millions till that
bastard Alfalfa took it all away.

14
00:00:48,558 --> 00:00:50,893
All right, this, see,
I gotta throw a flag on this, okay?

15
00:00:51,060 --> 00:00:52,728
Somebody's gonna check
with NASA.

16
00:00:52,937 --> 00:00:54,855
That's for me to worry about.
All I wanted

17
00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:57,108
was for you to double-check
my spelling and grammar,

18
00:00:57,275 --> 00:00:59,068
not nitpick at every
little detail!

19
00:00:59,277 --> 00:01:03,030
Okay! Fine! You spelled GPA wrong.
Other than that, it's perfect.

20
00:01:04,657 --> 00:01:06,534
Thank you.

21
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:38,200
Sync by XhmikosR
www.addic7ed.com

22
00:01:40,407 --> 00:01:43,076
So there I am
watching TV with my mom,

23
00:01:43,243 --> 00:01:46,246
and I turn to her and go, "Hey,
when is Aunt Gwinnie getting here?"

24
00:01:46,413 --> 00:01:51,000
So I hear Larry King on the TV say,
"She'll be with us at 7."

25
00:01:52,736 --> 00:01:55,780
See, he was talking about a guest,
I think it was Joyce DeWitt

26
00:01:55,947 --> 00:01:57,991
or Cindy Williams,
I always get those two mixed up.

27
00:01:58,158 --> 00:02:01,745
But it sounded like
he was answering me.

28
00:02:01,911 --> 00:02:03,872
That's so weird, isn't it?

29
00:02:06,875 --> 00:02:09,044
I wonder where Doug is.

30
00:02:09,794 --> 00:02:12,547
I bet you wish to God
you hadn't lost your house key.

31
00:02:12,714 --> 00:02:15,467
No, no. This is nice.

32
00:02:15,675 --> 00:02:19,763
Did you read that thing in the <i>Times</i>
about how some men can lactate?

33
00:02:20,847 --> 00:02:22,015
Man, that was awesome!

34
00:02:22,182 --> 00:02:23,975
It's a rush every
time you get on.

35
00:02:24,184 --> 00:02:25,560
- Hey.
- Hey, babe. What's up?

36
00:02:25,727 --> 00:02:28,938
Oh, not much, I was just out riding
on Richie's hog.

37
00:02:29,147 --> 00:02:31,483
Okay, please rephrase that.

38
00:02:31,691 --> 00:02:33,026
I got a motorcycle.

39
00:02:33,234 --> 00:02:35,362
- Really?
- Yeah, it's unbelievable.

40
00:02:35,570 --> 00:02:37,989
We went from here to Modell's
and back in two minutes.

41
00:02:38,156 --> 00:02:40,241
It's so fast. You zip in
and out through traffic.

42
00:02:40,267 --> 00:02:41,434
And I gotta level with you,

43
00:02:41,576 --> 00:02:45,789
there was a breeze blowing up
my shorts that felt like Christmas.

44
00:02:47,082 --> 00:02:49,501
- Very nice. House key, please?
- Oh, right.

45
00:02:49,709 --> 00:02:51,044
God, that was so cool.

46
00:02:51,211 --> 00:02:53,046
Everybody's looking at you,
like, whizzing by.

47
00:02:53,213 --> 00:02:55,590
And then out of nowhere,
Richie just pulls this wheelie.

48
00:02:55,799 --> 00:02:58,677
I wasn't going for one.
You just leaned back.

49
00:02:59,594 --> 00:03:00,887
You know, from here,

50
00:03:01,054 --> 00:03:04,724
it sounds like Mr. Doug
wants to buy himself a motorcycle.

51
00:03:04,933 --> 00:03:07,143
You know what?
I am a little tempted.

52
00:03:07,352 --> 00:03:09,396
Moose, you should see the guy
that I got mine from.

53
00:03:09,562 --> 00:03:12,232
He's got some real beauties
cheap and they run like new.

54
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:15,652
You know what? Give me his number.
Maybe I'll give him a call...

55
00:03:15,819 --> 00:03:18,321
- You're not getting a motorcycle.
- Why not? If I want...

56
00:03:18,488 --> 00:03:20,573
Okay, Doug, did you not hear
my buzzer noise?

57
00:03:20,740 --> 00:03:23,201
- This is not gonna happen.
- Why not?

58
00:03:23,368 --> 00:03:26,287
Because they're too dangerous,
and people die on them.

59
00:03:26,454 --> 00:03:28,665
I don't wanna have
to constantly worry about you.

60
00:03:28,873 --> 00:03:31,418
- But, Carrie, I wouldn't...
- Doug, no motorcycle.

61
00:03:31,584 --> 00:03:33,088
If you want, I'll
buy you a Schwinn,

62
00:03:33,114 --> 00:03:34,779
we'll put a baseball
card in the spokes,

63
00:03:34,921 --> 00:03:37,632
it'll sound almost the same, okay?

64
00:03:37,841 --> 00:03:40,051
Screw that noise.

65
00:03:40,260 --> 00:03:41,469
I can get one if I want.

66
00:03:41,636 --> 00:03:44,306
Okay, Doug, give me your hand,
I wanna make this easy for you.

67
00:03:44,514 --> 00:03:46,766
No.

68
00:03:47,225 --> 00:03:49,227
No.

69
00:03:49,394 --> 00:03:51,479
Give me the keys,
I don't wanna miss <i>The Real World</i>.

70
00:03:51,646 --> 00:03:53,356
I love you. Don't be home late.
Bye, guys.

71
00:03:53,565 --> 00:03:54,774
- Later, Carrie.
- Bye.

72
00:03:57,694 --> 00:03:59,654
- What?
- Nothing.

73
00:03:59,821 --> 00:04:03,491
So you wanna shoot some pool,
Mrs. Heffernan?

74
00:04:04,868 --> 00:04:08,246
Yeah, we could spot
you two balls.

75
00:04:11,166 --> 00:04:14,961
Hey, so much
for traditional gender roles, huh?

76
00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:20,467
I'm gonna use the bathroom.

77
00:04:21,551 --> 00:04:23,678
So yeah, you wanna shoot a game?
For real.

78
00:04:23,887 --> 00:04:25,889
No. You know what, no, thanks.

79
00:04:26,097 --> 00:04:27,515
Come on, we're just
kidding around.

80
00:04:27,724 --> 00:04:30,310
It's not you, it's Carrie.
I mean, what was that about?

81
00:04:30,518 --> 00:04:34,856
"No. No discussion...
sorry... sorry."

82
00:04:35,023 --> 00:04:36,524
Easy. Easy.

83
00:04:37,942 --> 00:04:39,653
I just thought marriage
was supposed to be

84
00:04:39,819 --> 00:04:42,447
this mutual sharing
dialog thing.

85
00:04:42,656 --> 00:04:44,366
No.

86
00:04:44,866 --> 00:04:47,452
You know what?
Ours is, usually.

87
00:04:47,661 --> 00:04:51,957
Oh, really? Last year, where was it
you wanted to go on vacation?

88
00:04:52,165 --> 00:04:54,250
- Baseball Hall of Fame.
- Baseball Hall of Fame.

89
00:04:54,459 --> 00:04:57,545
Cooperstown.
And where'd you end up going?

90
00:04:57,754 --> 00:04:59,214
Antiquing in Connecticut.

91
00:04:59,381 --> 00:05:00,799
So you did.

92
00:05:00,966 --> 00:05:04,803
And last week, when we were renting
movies to watch with the wives,

93
00:05:04,970 --> 00:05:06,179
what did we end up renting?

94
00:05:08,264 --> 00:05:09,307
I can't remember.

95
00:05:09,516 --> 00:05:11,226
- No, what did we rent?
- I don't know.

96
00:05:11,393 --> 00:05:12,769
- What did we rent?
<i>- Hope Floats!</i>

97
00:05:12,936 --> 00:05:14,312
There it is! <i>Hope Floats!</i>

98
00:05:14,479 --> 00:05:18,191
You see what I'm saying?
You're married. Don't fight it.

99
00:05:18,358 --> 00:05:23,780
You just gotta focus on a point
on the wall, and let it happen.

100
00:05:23,989 --> 00:05:26,408
No. No, you know what?
You focus. Not this guy.

101
00:05:26,574 --> 00:05:29,619
I'm picking up my own soap
and I'm getting out of the shower.

102
00:05:29,828 --> 00:05:32,539
Soap? What the hell are
you talking about?

103
00:05:32,747 --> 00:05:34,791
I don't know.
What were you talking about?

104
00:05:38,670 --> 00:05:40,630
- She's pretty sweet, huh?
- Oh, that she is.

105
00:05:40,797 --> 00:05:42,799
Richie's right,
you do nice work.

106
00:05:42,966 --> 00:05:45,468
Yeah, I hollowed out the cams,
put in bigger piston heads,

107
00:05:45,635 --> 00:05:47,387
you know,
give her a couple more horses.

108
00:05:48,138 --> 00:05:51,766
Good. Good, yeah, because I probably
would've hollowed them out myself.

109
00:05:51,933 --> 00:05:54,394
Now I don't have to, that's good.

110
00:05:54,602 --> 00:05:56,438
So you wanna do the deal?

111
00:05:56,646 --> 00:05:59,649
- Don't know. What do you want for it?
- Twelve hundred.

112
00:05:59,858 --> 00:06:02,027
It's a nice bike
but I don't know if it's 1200 nice.

113
00:06:02,193 --> 00:06:04,404
- Twelve hundred.
- It is nice.

114
00:06:05,155 --> 00:06:09,451
Still, I don't know.
You know, 1200.

115
00:06:11,453 --> 00:06:13,747
What are you looking for?

116
00:06:14,331 --> 00:06:16,875
I don't know. Here's 1200.

117
00:06:20,503 --> 00:06:22,631
Darling, I need to
borrow the iron.

118
00:06:22,797 --> 00:06:24,633
Dad, I've told you,

119
00:06:24,841 --> 00:06:28,637
if you want a grilled cheese
sandwich, I will make you one.

120
00:06:28,803 --> 00:06:31,473
No, no, I just wanted
to press my pants.

121
00:06:32,182 --> 00:06:34,434
I got a job interview
in the morning.

122
00:06:34,643 --> 00:06:38,480
Really? Good for you.
What for?

123
00:06:38,647 --> 00:06:42,108
Head of Paediatrics,
Long Island Jewish.

124
00:06:45,570 --> 00:06:48,615
Great. Sure hope
you don't get it.

125
00:06:49,324 --> 00:06:51,951
Okay, I think I know
where that came from.

126
00:06:52,118 --> 00:06:54,829
Now, look, I love you.

127
00:06:54,996 --> 00:06:59,501
When I go back to work,
you will not become a latchkey child.

128
00:06:59,668 --> 00:07:02,170
That is my pledge to you.

129
00:07:49,426 --> 00:07:51,386
- Hey, babe.
- Hi.

130
00:07:52,429 --> 00:07:54,973
What happened? I thought you were
coming home right after work.

131
00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:56,808
Actually, I stopped
somewhere first.

132
00:07:56,975 --> 00:08:00,061
In fact, I need
to talk to you.

133
00:08:00,270 --> 00:08:01,980
Let me just get dinner
started real quick.

134
00:08:02,188 --> 00:08:04,399
Dinner can wait.
You know, I wanna get this out now.

135
00:08:04,607 --> 00:08:09,821
Dinner can wait?
Okay, now you're really scaring me.

136
00:08:14,117 --> 00:08:15,452
Well, what?

137
00:08:15,618 --> 00:08:18,330
Carrie, sometimes
in a marriage,

138
00:08:21,082 --> 00:08:27,339
there comes a time
when one of the members

139
00:08:27,505 --> 00:08:31,176
of that marriage needs
to express themselves in a way that...

140
00:08:31,343 --> 00:08:34,054
Douglas, that is one
badass motorcycle you got out there.

141
00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:36,348
Nice work, kiddo.

142
00:08:49,277 --> 00:08:52,614
- You got a motorcycle?
- Can I finish my story, please?

143
00:08:52,822 --> 00:08:55,450
- You got a motorcycle?
- Yeah, yeah, I got a bike.

144
00:08:55,617 --> 00:08:57,577
I got a bike.
There, I said it. I don't care.

145
00:08:57,786 --> 00:08:59,704
I said it. It's out there.

146
00:09:02,082 --> 00:09:05,710
By the way, Douglas, did Carrie
tell you I got a job interview?

147
00:09:07,087 --> 00:09:10,632
Honey, you can't run from this,
Daddy needs to work.

148
00:09:10,799 --> 00:09:12,717
Douglas, get after her.

149
00:09:14,344 --> 00:09:16,471
Have you lost your mind?
I mean, we discussed this.

150
00:09:16,638 --> 00:09:18,515
No, no, we didn't discuss it,
you discussed it.

151
00:09:18,682 --> 00:09:20,350
I barely got a sentence in.

152
00:09:20,558 --> 00:09:23,228
Doug, I specifically forbade you
from buying this.

153
00:09:23,395 --> 00:09:27,065
Forbade me?
You can't forbade me.

154
00:09:27,273 --> 00:09:30,235
Are you insane? I mean, what the hell
do you think you're doing here?

155
00:09:30,443 --> 00:09:33,571
I knew you would overreact like this.
I just wanted one, huh? It'll be fun.

156
00:09:33,780 --> 00:09:36,616
Fun? Really? Will it be fun
when you're in a wheelchair?

157
00:09:37,409 --> 00:09:39,160
Maybe.

158
00:09:39,995 --> 00:09:43,290
- This is going back tomorrow.
- No, it's not going back tomorrow.

159
00:09:43,456 --> 00:09:46,209
- Oh, it is.
- Oh, it's not.

160
00:09:46,376 --> 00:09:49,546
- It's so going back.
- It's so not going back.

161
00:09:49,754 --> 00:09:51,840
Okay, Doug, not only
are you stupid for buying this,

162
00:09:52,007 --> 00:09:54,509
but you're arguing about it
in a really annoying way.

163
00:09:54,718 --> 00:09:56,761
Tough noogies.

164
00:09:59,472 --> 00:10:01,016
Look, I'm keeping
the motorcycle.

165
00:10:01,182 --> 00:10:03,435
For once, I'm wearing the
pants in the family.

166
00:10:03,643 --> 00:10:05,687
- Fine. Keep the damn bike.
- Fine. I will.

167
00:10:05,895 --> 00:10:06,938
- Fine.
- I will.

168
00:10:07,105 --> 00:10:08,148
- Fine.
- I will!

169
00:10:08,315 --> 00:10:10,400
And by the way,
if you wanna wear the pants,

170
00:10:10,567 --> 00:10:13,403
you might think about
pulling them up.

171
00:10:23,585 --> 00:10:26,921
Well, Peaches, I think
congratulations are in order.

172
00:10:27,088 --> 00:10:29,299
Your father got himself a job.

173
00:10:29,924 --> 00:10:33,386
Well, I'm gonna assume
it's not the head of Paediatrics?

174
00:10:33,553 --> 00:10:37,390
No, no, unfortunately,
they did a little fishing around.

175
00:10:37,557 --> 00:10:39,642
So instead, I accepted an offer

176
00:10:39,809 --> 00:10:43,354
from an enterprise known
as A Big Hot Pretzel.

177
00:10:44,522 --> 00:10:47,525
Well, the important thing is
you still get to work with kids.

178
00:10:48,193 --> 00:10:52,197
- Congratulations, I'm proud of you.
- Thank you.

179
00:10:52,363 --> 00:10:54,991
Pay's not great, but they agreed
to let me work evenings.

180
00:10:55,158 --> 00:10:58,828
That way, you and I
can have our days together.

181
00:10:58,995 --> 00:11:01,498
I'd love to, Dad,
but you know I work during the day.

182
00:11:01,664 --> 00:11:03,875
Come on, darling,
you're gonna have to be flexible

183
00:11:04,042 --> 00:11:06,211
if we're gonna make this work.

184
00:11:06,795 --> 00:11:10,173
Okay, well, I guess my only
other option is to quit my job.

185
00:11:10,382 --> 00:11:11,841
- That's my girl.
- Okay.

186
00:11:12,842 --> 00:11:14,969
Sewing kit, here we go.

187
00:11:15,136 --> 00:11:17,263
Gotta let the crotch out
on these trousers.

188
00:11:17,430 --> 00:11:20,809
After all, I'm selling pretzels,
not myself.

189
00:11:26,439 --> 00:11:28,274
What's up?

190
00:11:37,659 --> 00:11:41,079
Hey, babe. Kiss?

191
00:11:42,622 --> 00:11:46,960
You wanna know where I was?
I was out cruising.

192
00:11:47,627 --> 00:11:49,546
Good for you, sweetie.

193
00:11:51,089 --> 00:11:52,924
I was on my motorcycle.

194
00:11:53,133 --> 00:11:55,719
I know, I know.
I'm fine with that.

195
00:11:55,927 --> 00:11:57,178
- You are?
- Yeah.

196
00:11:57,387 --> 00:11:59,931
You know, I had a good night's sleep,
thought things through,

197
00:12:00,098 --> 00:12:03,768
and I figured, hey, you know what?
If a motorcycle makes you happy,

198
00:12:03,935 --> 00:12:05,019
then I'm happy too.

199
00:12:05,186 --> 00:12:06,646
Because you know what?

200
00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:11,568
Life's too short not to do the things
that make you happy, right?

201
00:12:16,364 --> 00:12:18,116
Right.

202
00:12:18,783 --> 00:12:21,077
So you wanna split
an egg roll?

203
00:12:21,244 --> 00:12:22,537
- Do you?
- All right...

204
00:12:24,164 --> 00:12:26,124
What are you doing, here?

205
00:12:26,332 --> 00:12:29,085
What? Oh, this?
I'm just doing what makes me happy.

206
00:12:29,252 --> 00:12:32,797
Oh, you know what?
These are so smooth.

207
00:12:32,964 --> 00:12:35,884
We've come a long way, baby.

208
00:12:36,051 --> 00:12:38,219
So you're gonna get cancer
to make a point?

209
00:12:38,428 --> 00:12:40,805
Sure. I'll be in an iron lung,
you'll be in a wheelchair.

210
00:12:40,972 --> 00:12:45,268
You know what? Maybe we can chip in
and share a helper monkey.

211
00:12:45,477 --> 00:12:48,313
You know what? It's not gonna work
because you can smoke all you want.

212
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,982
- I don't care.
- Well, I'm glad you feel that way.

213
00:12:51,149 --> 00:12:52,901
I do.

214
00:12:53,109 --> 00:12:54,527
I do, I do, you know?

215
00:12:54,694 --> 00:12:55,862
I'm not gonna play games.

216
00:12:56,029 --> 00:12:58,239
I'm not going to that place
you want me to go, here.

217
00:12:58,406 --> 00:13:00,366
If you wanna ruin your lungs,
then that's...

218
00:13:03,745 --> 00:13:06,873
All right. Put it out!
I can't eat near that stink.

219
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,414
Well, then go eat
with your motorcycle,

220
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,694
because I likes to
smoke while I eat.

221
00:13:13,838 --> 00:13:16,216
Fine. You know what? I will.
I will. You know what? I will.

222
00:13:16,383 --> 00:13:19,511
And you can smoke all you want
because I'm keeping my motorcycle.

223
00:13:19,677 --> 00:13:22,222
Duck sauce.

224
00:14:32,292 --> 00:14:36,212
Oh, don't mind me.
I'm just looking for something.

225
00:14:37,088 --> 00:14:39,424
Oh, thank God.

226
00:14:40,175 --> 00:14:41,843
You know,
if you lose one of these things,

227
00:14:42,010 --> 00:14:44,262
it comes right out
of your paycheque.

228
00:14:44,471 --> 00:14:47,515
I already owe them
for that stupid soda machine.

229
00:14:49,142 --> 00:14:54,189
So you still enjoying
the chopper?

230
00:14:55,356 --> 00:14:58,068
Oh, yeah. It's great.

231
00:14:58,276 --> 00:15:01,154
Don't let Carrie get you down.

232
00:15:01,321 --> 00:15:05,366
You know, when I had my motorcycle,
her mother was the same way.

233
00:15:05,533 --> 00:15:09,162
- You had a bike?
- Sure. Loved it too.

234
00:15:09,329 --> 00:15:12,999
The great open road,
the rumble of your machine,

235
00:15:13,541 --> 00:15:16,503
the camaraderie
of your gang brothers.

236
00:15:18,755 --> 00:15:21,424
- You were in a gang?
- Not really.

237
00:15:21,591 --> 00:15:24,302
I asked them to let me in,
but they drank heavily all weekend

238
00:15:24,469 --> 00:15:27,263
and beat me pretty severely.

239
00:15:30,809 --> 00:15:32,519
Okay.

240
00:15:32,727 --> 00:15:35,230
And I think
I may have been compromised

241
00:15:35,397 --> 00:15:39,484
by a gentleman named Road Dog.

242
00:15:59,713 --> 00:16:02,716
I hate you!

243
00:16:04,676 --> 00:16:07,846
- Carrie!
- Up here.

244
00:16:13,268 --> 00:16:14,310
Hey.

245
00:16:15,729 --> 00:16:17,397
Wanna have sex?

246
00:16:18,314 --> 00:16:19,816
I'm getting rid of the bike.

247
00:16:20,024 --> 00:16:21,359
You are?

248
00:16:21,568 --> 00:16:26,030
- I'm selling it tomorrow. You happy?
- Well, yeah.

249
00:16:26,197 --> 00:16:28,032
What happened?
You get sick of it?

250
00:16:28,241 --> 00:16:30,952
No, sorry,
I didn't get sick of it.

251
00:16:31,161 --> 00:16:33,830
- You got sick of it.
- No.

252
00:16:34,039 --> 00:16:35,582
- Yes!
- No.

253
00:16:35,749 --> 00:16:37,500
Let me tell you something,
I love that bike.

254
00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:41,171
I'm a free spirit on that bike.
Me and that bike are like this, okay?

255
00:16:41,755 --> 00:16:43,173
Then why are you
getting rid of it?

256
00:16:45,175 --> 00:16:47,177
"Why", you ask me?

257
00:16:47,385 --> 00:16:51,389
Because it just so happens
that I love this... more.

258
00:16:52,432 --> 00:16:55,268
This is why I'm getting rid of
the bike and no other reason.

259
00:16:55,435 --> 00:16:58,063
And you know what?
If you can't understand that,

260
00:16:58,229 --> 00:17:02,734
then how sad your
world must be.

261
00:17:11,159 --> 00:17:12,202
Oh, there she is.

262
00:17:12,368 --> 00:17:15,705
The harpy who made her husband
sell his motorcycle.

263
00:17:15,914 --> 00:17:17,540
- Dad, please.
- Please, nothing.

264
00:17:17,707 --> 00:17:19,959
I know why you did this.
But let me tell you one thing.

265
00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:23,004
Motorcycle or no motorcycle,
I'll find a way to get to work!

266
00:17:23,213 --> 00:17:25,131
- Dad.
- I'll take the bus if I have to.

267
00:17:25,298 --> 00:17:27,717
Sure, the bus can't pick me up
at my front door

268
00:17:27,884 --> 00:17:31,221
or make my tushy feel good
with its rhythmic vibrations, but...

269
00:17:31,429 --> 00:17:33,598
Dad! Wait, would you
just listen to me, please?

270
00:17:33,765 --> 00:17:35,642
I'm glad you got a job.

271
00:17:35,809 --> 00:17:39,896
I made Doug get rid of the motorcycle
because they're way too dangerous.

272
00:17:41,189 --> 00:17:45,151
Well, you know
what's more dangerous?

273
00:17:45,568 --> 00:17:46,903
What?

274
00:17:47,362 --> 00:17:51,282
Having somebody resent you
for making them give up their dream.

275
00:17:53,076 --> 00:17:55,495
And you know
what's even more dangerous?

276
00:17:56,830 --> 00:17:59,082
Leaving a pair of boxer shorts
drying on a space heater.

277
00:17:59,249 --> 00:18:02,085
So if you'll excuse me...

278
00:18:17,392 --> 00:18:19,728
I sold you.

279
00:18:21,354 --> 00:18:23,231
Oh, shoot, you're home already.

280
00:18:23,398 --> 00:18:25,984
I didn't get a chance
to put the bow on it yet.

281
00:18:26,151 --> 00:18:30,113
- Well, here.
- What have you done?

282
00:18:31,072 --> 00:18:32,907
I felt really guilty
about making you sell it

283
00:18:33,074 --> 00:18:35,493
and I didn't want you to hate me
for the rest of your life,

284
00:18:35,660 --> 00:18:37,996
so I bought it back.

285
00:18:38,163 --> 00:18:41,624
You bought it back.
That's... You bought it back.

286
00:18:42,542 --> 00:18:44,669
So, what's the deal,
I don't get a hug for this?

287
00:18:44,836 --> 00:18:47,881
Oh, you got it. Okay, okay, yeah.

288
00:18:49,007 --> 00:18:53,845
Now, no riding at night
and no riding on the expressway,

289
00:18:54,012 --> 00:18:55,180
and no riding in bad weather.

290
00:18:55,346 --> 00:18:56,848
- You got it?
- Yeah, yeah.

291
00:18:57,015 --> 00:18:59,309
Oh, wait,
I have another surprise for you.

292
00:18:59,517 --> 00:19:01,227
They just keep coming, don't they?

293
00:19:04,355 --> 00:19:07,108
Now we can go riding together.

294
00:19:07,275 --> 00:19:09,277
Look at me.

295
00:19:09,861 --> 00:19:12,197
I'm Pinky Tuscadero.

296
00:19:13,114 --> 00:19:16,785
Come on, let's take her for a spin.
Let's bust some heads, baby!

297
00:19:16,993 --> 00:19:19,079
Okay.

298
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:24,459
- Come on!
- Okay! Yeah, okay.

299
00:19:31,633 --> 00:19:36,638
Honey, don't you need to,
like, start it or something?

300
00:19:40,141 --> 00:19:43,686
Funny story.
Hey, get ready to laugh.

301
00:19:43,853 --> 00:19:46,147
Turns out, I hate the bike.

302
00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:47,888
What?

303
00:19:47,914 --> 00:19:49,759
I hate it. Hey, let's
go buy you a gift.

304
00:19:49,901 --> 00:19:52,195
- Come on.
- Doug!

305
00:19:52,404 --> 00:19:55,198
What do you mean you hate the bike?
I thought you loved this thing.

306
00:19:55,365 --> 00:19:57,117
I don't love it, okay?

307
00:19:57,283 --> 00:19:59,786
I mean, I get rained on,
people laugh at me,

308
00:19:59,953 --> 00:20:01,287
and at night, no one can see you.

309
00:20:01,454 --> 00:20:02,596
At night, you're gonna die.

310
00:20:02,622 --> 00:20:05,066
You might as well just
face it, you're gonna die.

311
00:20:05,208 --> 00:20:08,545
Well, then, what was that load of crap
you gave me about how you loved it

312
00:20:08,712 --> 00:20:11,506
but you loved this... more?

313
00:20:11,715 --> 00:20:15,051
I was embarrassed. I was trying to get
out of this with a shred of manhood.

314
00:20:15,260 --> 00:20:17,429
And you thought you'd do that
by making me feel guilty

315
00:20:17,595 --> 00:20:18,888
for the rest of my life?

316
00:20:19,097 --> 00:20:21,683
It felt right at the time, yeah.

317
00:20:21,891 --> 00:20:26,020
- What is wrong with you?
- I fell there!

318
00:20:26,980 --> 00:20:28,815
- Look, it was your fault too.
- My fault.

319
00:20:29,023 --> 00:20:32,193
Yeah, that buzzer noise
is so insulting, you know?

320
00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:34,612
I don't like it when you do it
in front of my friends.

321
00:20:35,697 --> 00:20:38,366
And I really don't like it
when you do it during sex.

322
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,536
Anybody would've buzzed you
on that one.

323
00:20:41,745 --> 00:20:44,581
Hello? It was dark.
I was disoriented.

324
00:20:45,457 --> 00:20:51,212
Okay, I'm sorry I buzzed you
about getting the motorcycle.

325
00:20:51,379 --> 00:20:53,673
I just did it because I love you.

326
00:20:54,466 --> 00:20:57,802
I know. I love you too. Come here.

327
00:20:59,679 --> 00:21:04,267
All right, well, let's see
where we're at with this thing.

328
00:21:04,476 --> 00:21:08,396
We got a bike that we don't want,
that we bought twice,

329
00:21:08,563 --> 00:21:10,857
and I'm addicted to smoking.

330
00:21:11,524 --> 00:21:14,235
Yeah, but we still got this... right?

331
00:21:14,778 --> 00:21:16,863
Oh, yeah, we still have this:

332
00:21:17,072 --> 00:21:20,325
Okay, I guess
I'll just call Dirk tomorrow

333
00:21:20,492 --> 00:21:22,494
and see if I can get
my 800 bucks back.

334
00:21:22,660 --> 00:21:25,205
Eight? You got the bike for 8?

335
00:21:25,372 --> 00:21:29,167
Yeah. He wanted 1200.
Can you believe that?

336
00:21:29,376 --> 00:21:31,711
That's ridiculous.

337
00:21:37,477 --> 00:21:40,229
- Hey, honey.
- Hey. How you feeling?

338
00:21:40,396 --> 00:21:43,858
Great.
This nicotine patch really works.

339
00:21:44,025 --> 00:21:47,570
It's like, "Cigarette? No, thanks."

340
00:21:47,737 --> 00:21:50,365
Good. I'm glad you feel that way.

341
00:21:50,907 --> 00:21:52,659
You know what,
we're getting low on shampoo.

342
00:21:52,825 --> 00:21:55,787
- Can you pick up some later?
- You got it.

343
00:21:55,954 --> 00:22:00,124
And don't forget, we're having dinner
with Deacon and Kelly on Thursday.

344
00:22:03,349 --> 00:22:09,349
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